Alice Shani Lankri
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Ceremonies

To mark what happened, so the body knows it happened.

Something large happened to you in the last two years, and you are not entirely sure when it ended.

The relationship finished at some point, but there is no moment you can point to. You moved countries, the boxes arrived, and something inside is still packed. You stopped being who you had been for a decade, and nobody said it out loud, including you.

And the body does not accept it. It keeps organising around a life that is no longer there. You find yourself braced for things that stopped being relevant, or holding readiness for something that is not going to happen.

That is what happens when a threshold gets crossed and nobody marks it.

What a ceremony does

A ceremony is not spiritual decoration and it is not a performance. It does one thing: it gives the change an event. A point in time and space you can point at and say, that is where it happened.

Without that point, large transitions stay open and ongoing. We know in our heads that something ended, and go on living as though it were still running, because nothing in the body marked the end. Every culture I know of places ceremony at exactly these points, and for most of us it has survived only around birth, marriage and death. Every other threshold passes in silence.

I work through body, movement, voice and breath, and not only through words, because the part that needs to know it is over is not the head.

Thresholds I hold

An ending

A relationship that finished, even two years ago. A job or a role that had become the identity. A chapter that closed without a final scene.

A beginning

A new home, a new country, a relationship you are entering on purpose rather than drifting into, a decision that has been made and needs a body.

Grief

Not only for a person. Also for a version of yourself, for a possibility that will not happen, for a body that changed.

For two

Marking a new agreement between two people, a forgiveness that was spoken, or a chapter opening after a rupture. Sometimes also a parting, with dignity.

How it works

There is no ceremony off a shelf. We build it together in one or two conversations beforehand: what exactly is ending or beginning, what will mark it, who is present, and what remains afterwards as a witness. Place, time and what happens inside it are all built around what happened to you rather than around a template.

I will not ask you to do anything that feels ridiculous. If something feels that way in the preparation, we replace it. A ceremony you have to strain inside does not do its work.

What stays afterwards

A moment you can point to in memory, and usually something physical that remains: an object, a text, a place you can return to. That is what makes a ceremony keep working months later, rather than being a beautiful evening that happened.

The head knows it is over long before the body agrees. The ceremony is how you tell it.

Where

Around Lisbon and Sintra, in your home, or outdoors. I travel upon request, including outside Portugal. Preparation conversations can happen on Zoom from anywhere.

What is not here.

The ceremonies I hold work through body, movement, voice, breath and word. I do not provide any substances, I do not refer to providers and I do not give dosage guidance. This is not a religious framework and it is not psychological or medical treatment, nor a substitute for either. If what surfaces around the threshold calls for professional support, I say so.

Questions people ask

Are any substances involved?

No. I do not provide any substances, I do not refer to providers and I do not give dosage guidance. The ceremonies I hold work through body, movement, voice, breath and word.

Is this religious?

No. There is no single tradition you need to belong to and no fixed text. If you have a tradition that is precious to you we can weave it in, and that is your choice rather than my default.

I feel ridiculous at the idea of a ceremony. Is that normal?

Very. Almost everyone feels that at first, and it is usually a good sign that something real is being touched. Part of my work is building something that will not ask you to be someone else in order to stand inside it.

Can I do this alone, without a partner?

Yes. A large part of the ceremonies I hold are entirely personal. Some have people present and some happen between two, you and me.

Write to me about your threshold

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