Alice Shani Lankri
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Writing

Each one with a single tool to take home.

I write about what I meet in the room. Fights that keep returning, intimacy that disappeared and how it comes back, and what happens to couples around the large thresholds of a life. Every piece carries a research source with its link, states that source's limitations out loud, and ends with one concrete exercise you can do this week.

Why you keep having the same fight

Most relationship conflict is not a problem you can solve, and that does not mean something is broken. How to tell a solvable fight from a perpetual one, and what to do with the second kind.

13 August 2026 · 6 min · a 20 minute exercise

Preparing as a couple: the two weeks before

Most couples prepare for one day, and what decides things is the fortnight before it. Together, separately, or not now, and how to tell which.

13 August 2026 · 7 min · a two week map

Integration: the first 30 days

What opens is not kept in what you said, it is kept in what you went back and did. Why the first week home is the hardest, and when to talk versus when to let it settle.

13 August 2026 · 7 min · a 30 day map

The hour after the fight

Couples who recover fast are not the ones who fight less. Why reason does not return immediately, and who names the time.

13 August 2026 · 6 min · four steps

Why you do not feel like it any more

Desire did not disappear, it changed shape. Responsive versus spontaneous desire, and what actually erodes it.

13 August 2026 · 7 min · two weeks without the question

I understand my pattern. So why does it keep happening?

Your brain does not learn from what happens. It learns from the gap between what it expected and what occurred. Why insight alone changes nothing, and the one minute daily practice that creates the gap that actually moves things.

13 August 2026 · 7 min · a one minute daily practice

The body does not store. The body responds.

New research questions the idea that pain sits stored somewhere in the body like a file in a drawer. What happens instead, and why it changes how you know if you're actually healing.

20 August 2026 · 7 min · the signal check

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